2-28-07

I just had it!

2-27-07

Wishing you peace, comfort, and love.

2-26-07

I was thinking about being specific with descriptions of how and where things hurt when making this collage. I was actually feeling sort of sick while putting it together and when I came across an image of pizza bagels (the junk food I pigged out on last night much to my stomach’s dismay this morning) I had to incorporate it. That is what covers the patient in the doctor scene.

2-25-07

I began this collage thinking simply of getting down to business. This thought quickly evolved into thoughts about the best way for me to work. As everything came together I got a sense that what my work time was missing. When I was a young gymnast my coach would say ‘put a finish on it’ referring to that ending flourish at the end of a skill or routine, a little something I’ve been neglecting in my daily routines. It isn’t so much the work it self, but the act of working that I need to tie up. The same way I don’t count my laundry being done until the clean cloths are put away, nor can I look at a day of creative work as being over until my notes are filed and supplies put away. Sure I might be in the middle of something, but while the thought can wear till tomorrow the mess doesn’t have to.

2-24-07

I went into this collage with thoughts of being something on the outside I order to elicit a desired response from outsiders. This girl jumped out at me right away. The skirt, the shirt, the hat… it’s all so silly and had the air of calculation I was after. No one would wear this outfit because it’s what others expect of them, but because of what they expect others to think of it. And while the wearer gets what they think they want, in the end they loose who they really are.

2-23-07

I was in a bad mood when I decided to make this collage; hung up on the advice other people have to give to me. I wanted to figure out how to get them off my back, how to teach them how to treat me. While looking for images I was drawn into every set of eyes I saw. I got to thinking that I don’t need to change what other people think about and offer me; I need to establish what I think of myself and hold that in the highest regard. While making the collage I thought about all of my talents, gifts and accomplishments. Now I am in a good mood. I’m treating my self well. I see myself.

2-22-07

Yesterday I was inspired by the idea of going out on a limb because that is where the fruit is. I made the day’s collage and nothing in particular came to me during its creation. Last night, though, I had some crazy dreams and had to get up to work on the ideas I was getting.

I’ve been in the middle of a project that I feel I must finish before I begin anything else. I have a tendency to divert my attention from one project onto another because the new idea seems more interesting and viable. In the end nothing gets completed.

Last night I was following the ideas and at first was scared because it was all so exciting and irresistible, but I didn’t want to abandon the project I’m working on lest I never complete anything ever. Then it came to me, to go out on a limb and apply the ideas I was having to what I’ve been working on.

I have been working from this new perspective and things seem to be going well. I made this collage while trying to figure out if I am tricking myself into believing that the new direction is the one I should take or if I should stay on the path I’ve been on.

I started with images similar to the ones I’ve been working with and applied techniques I’ve been using, but I applied the techniques to images I would normally treat in a different way. I then used the resulting material in a new way. As I was putting the pieces together I realized that I must continue in the new direction because it will help me see how to harmoniously combine the aspects of my life I’ve been struggling to pull together.

2-21-07

finding fresh fruit

2-20-07

stir the ego out of me

2-19-07

looking forward to spring

2-18-07

letting the cards fall where they land

2-17-07

i have signed up to express my unique brilliance

2-16-07

Maybe thinking of becoming a mother has been a form of protection, giving me a specific role to play, allowing me to dream of my own childhood differently. Maybe o should stop thinking about the different roles I could play and how things could have been different and focus on what I want for my future.

2-15-07

I’ve been thinking a lot about communication and the gap between explanation and understanding. I believe now that I don’t have to sacrifice my message in order to be sure I am heard.

2-14-07

In order to be who I am truly to supposed to be I need to tell the truth about who I have been. Truthfully I have been someone who has been in waiting. Waiting for an invitation, waiting for instructions, waiting for a decision to be made about my life so I can start to live it. So I can wait in my present, or I can make the decision to move into my liberty.

2-13-07

flush

2-12-07

invitation

2-11-07

This was my first attempt at achieving a certain effect. I didn’t get the effect I wanted, but as I was making this a fan shape presented it self making the image of a geisha pop into my mind. I got to a point where I realized that something I do is chase receiving the treatment that geishas offer their clients. I do so because I want to be seen, but instead of doing the work to figure out who I am and portraying that I take the easy way and do as little as I can to get what I want. What I need to remember is that I don’t have to not be seen to change, I can change and be seen for who I really am.

2-10-07

kind of like a quilter

2-9-07

Getting attention is something I’ve been in the habit of all my life. I used to try and stop grabbing the spotlight all together, then it came to me that getting attention might be what I’m here to do and that I may have just been going about getting it in the wrong way. I started making this collage thinking about the idea that my purpose is to be hears. As I was making it there was a shift in my thinking. Maybe being heard isn’t the end of it. Maybe my porpoise is to express my ideas in a way that I would be proud for others to see.

2-8-07

I’m trying to understand how to act purposefully while not overanalyzing what I do and say. I thought about my idea about raising kids. I think parents need to do all they can to instill a good foundation of right and wrong, give their children a strong base upon which they can make good decisions. Then parents must know that when set free their children will do the best they can because of the upbringing they received. I know it’s important to think about the intentions I want to set in my life, but when I think and think and think about what I’m about to do I’m like a parent who isn’t letting their child grow up. I know that I have good intentions, I don’t have to think at every moment if what I’m doing is from that place inside of me, and I especially don’t have to try and filter everything to make sure my exact intentions are going to be understood before I act. I know my intentions and I know when and where they are to be evaluated. I can feel free to allow my actions to spring forth because I have tended the space from which they originate.

2-7-07

Again I was thinking about the things I believe will make me happy, the way I will be able to tell I am allowed to be happy. Then I thought about the fact that I have everything I could possibly want; how could I possibly be happier than I am right now? While I was making this collage a line form a movie popped into my head. It is from Clueless, Cher’s response to why she doesn’t need to learn to parallel park; “everywhere you go had valet”. It made me think that, while the things may seem silly or unfair to have, what I have is what I have and I get to and must live inside of the reality that is mine.

2-6-07

to pull my desire to manifest from the universal

2-5-07

I can’t wait to swim in the ocean this summer!

2-4-07

This is another collage dealing with my attempt to reconcile how all things are connected. Before I discovered that you can’t separate any one thing out because everything is bound together. This piece was done while I concentrated on the idea that recognizing this unity is key, and that trying to ignore something is really the same as giving something more importance than it actually has.

2-3-07

There is so much unrecognized beauty we need to highlight thought our day. By the same token, anything can be made into a special even with just a few little touches.

2-2-07

Screw all this day dreaming, I’ve got a life to live!

That’s what I have been thinking since I woke up this morning. The collage is made up of images I think about when I get caught imagining an idealized life. Some of them are items I believe that when I have them it will show I’ve made it. Others represent a lifestyle I think I should be able to live and at the same time have my life hold the same meaning I know only comes from a life of living. Ripping them up felt good and I’ve been facing all the things I have to do today (that I really don’t want to do) with the attitude that doing them is what is going to change my life.

2-1-07

good fortune

1-31-07

I was thinking about a party I am planning while making this collage. At first I was wrapped up in my resistance to people who want to help. I thought what do they want out of this experience any way. While I was making this I went thru thoughts about the reason I am putting so much effort into the party in the first place. What are people really going to remember about it? In the end it all came to me, that the party, like every other encounter in life, will have different meanings to different people, but it will be a part of the life fabric of each person in attendance.